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In continuation of National Poetry Month

Used To

It's that pivotal moment
That moment where
You realize
That life won't be
Anything near where you had
Anticipated it

It's disorienting
And you feel reality
Slicing your soul away
From your bones
Your muscles
Your veins
Your blood runs freely in your past

You are no longer you
You watch yourself
Your family
Your life
You watch it all slip through time
You're so disconnected
You don't even know who
You are anymore

Who am I?
What am I doing
With my life?
What is my motivation
To keep going?

I lost my childhood
In that one instant
My sweet naïveté
Slipped away from me
With a quick snip
Just a few words
And suddenly I
Was a different person

I used to never be
Without a reason to smile
I used to run around
And laugh and bring
Joy to others

But with those words
That child packed her bags
She got up and left
A sombre
Quiet and unhappy
Woman in her wake
A woman who sees
No reason to follow the rules
No reason to
Care what anyone thinks

And all she could ever do was
Think of what she
Didn't get to have
Because she lost much more
Than her childhood in
That instant
And she knows she
Shouldn't wallow in
Self pity
And she hates herself
For it
But she can't make it stop

Who am I now?
I wish I could
Tell you
But I haven't yet
Had the opportunity
To make my acquaintance