I want to cry.
So much.
There's way too much going on in my mind.
I'm having way too much internal conflict.
I can't do it.
I can't.
I can tell myself I can,
and I can motivate myself to do so..
but..
I can't.
I can't do it.
I'm sorry.
I can't.
What am I doing?
What is this?
Why?
I have no reason.
I thought I had a reason.
I don't.
Why am I doing this?
To be honest,
I don't know.
I know that part of the reason I'm doing it
is because I'm trying not to hurt other people,
but honestly,
it's to the point where I'm hurting myself.
Not something I wanna be doing.
I've been enduring it,
but there's no reason for it.
I can't do it.
I don't want to do it.
I need to breathe.
I haven't had time to breathe.
I need it.
I can't think straight.
I can't see straight.
I don't know what I'm doing..
What AM I doing?
I don't know.
There's too many questions invading my mind.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
I can't handle this.
I can't answer any of my own questions.
I don't want these questions.
These questions shouldn't be here.
I shouldn't be where I am right now.
I'm not who I used to be.
I'm not what I want to be.
I'm not who I want to be.
I want to be who I used to be.
I want to be who I am.
But right now,
I don't know where that me is.
That side of me.. she's hidden.
Covered in dust.
I can't see her.
I don't know where she went.
I want her back.
I want myself back.
I want back the simple care-free life I once had.
What I want is
for all my questions to go away.
All my troubles.
All my worries.
I want to light them on fire and feel the heat of them burning
and smell the smoke in the air.
I want them to vanish like a puff of smoke.
Be gone.
Troubles, be gone.
Please, be gone.
This isn't what I want.
I thought it's what I wanted..
but I'll tell you right now.
Crying is not what I wanted.
This is not what I planned for.
Somebody save me...
no one can save me.
I've dug myself in such a rut.
Days like these make me feel that there's no way out of this oblivion..
So much.
There's way too much going on in my mind.
I'm having way too much internal conflict.
I can't do it.
I can't.
I can tell myself I can,
and I can motivate myself to do so..
but..
I can't.
I can't do it.
I'm sorry.
I can't.
What am I doing?
What is this?
Why?
I have no reason.
I thought I had a reason.
I don't.
Why am I doing this?
To be honest,
I don't know.
I know that part of the reason I'm doing it
is because I'm trying not to hurt other people,
but honestly,
it's to the point where I'm hurting myself.
Not something I wanna be doing.
I've been enduring it,
but there's no reason for it.
I can't do it.
I don't want to do it.
I need to breathe.
I haven't had time to breathe.
I need it.
I can't think straight.
I can't see straight.
I don't know what I'm doing..
What AM I doing?
I don't know.
There's too many questions invading my mind.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
I can't handle this.
I can't answer any of my own questions.
I don't want these questions.
These questions shouldn't be here.
I shouldn't be where I am right now.
I'm not who I used to be.
I'm not what I want to be.
I'm not who I want to be.
I want to be who I used to be.
I want to be who I am.
But right now,
I don't know where that me is.
That side of me.. she's hidden.
Covered in dust.
I can't see her.
I don't know where she went.
I want her back.
I want myself back.
I want back the simple care-free life I once had.
What I want is
for all my questions to go away.
All my troubles.
All my worries.
I want to light them on fire and feel the heat of them burning
and smell the smoke in the air.
I want them to vanish like a puff of smoke.
Be gone.
Troubles, be gone.
Please, be gone.
This isn't what I want.
I thought it's what I wanted..
but I'll tell you right now.
Crying is not what I wanted.
This is not what I planned for.
Somebody save me...
no one can save me.
I've dug myself in such a rut.
Days like these make me feel that there's no way out of this oblivion..
